BEING AFRICAN

     Growing up, I heard about history, the colonization of Africans, the slave trades, suffering, brutality, battery  and let’s not forget the inhumane discrimination that has crawled into the present time.

      I grew up into a world of told and untold stories, A world that has continuously downcasted the dark skinned and portrayed them wrongly.

      But, how exactly can I blame the present generation for not understanding the depth and weight of the past that is on our shoulders? when the only thing we can point out are the invisible shackles on our thin wrists, shackles we have visualised for so long and cannot seem to break from.

     Growing up,we were taught the language of silence,No one understands you, so keep it to yourself. Silence was the only music our ears had ever heard, whether it was to not appear weak, or whether it was to not appear violent, Our limbs had stayed on our lips. successfully shutting the chain of words that screamed to be heard.

        Growing up and walking into society, Perfectionists sang on every side, and Even amongst our own kind We were treated differently. Why though? why do we continuously have to remind ourself that black is beautiful, why is it not just an untold fact, like all the stories we were forced to keep in our wounded hearts, stories from the past that plague the present and threaten the future.

         We are creatives, Legacies like blood pumping in our “go getter veins”, Fighters with no ammunition’s but the burning desire to create change. Growing up, I was given so many reasons to feel insecure, You know when there are so many reasons to give up, but you choose to continue moving? that was how I felt when I decided to be comfortable in my own skin!

Black is beautiful, black is bold. Black is strong and Black is Vibrant.

           I came from a society whose only future for girl’s was to get settled at a particular age, or else they were hounded and even though the present age is slowly changing, that mentality is still there, I came from a society who is more than ready to judge and criticize your every move. So we cover our mistakes, paint our flaws and hide our imperfections, I came from a society where a parent does not know their own child.

I came from a society where “Silence is golden” The kind of golden that taints you from inside and ruins your black. it swallows your words and sings the songs of silence like lullabies of old. I am not ranting, I am simply Expressing the thoughts you were at a loss of words to say.

       I came from a society where so much is expected but so little given, where dreams weigh like heavy bricks and no one is willing to move till the lights turn green. Each person a bigger coward than the last. the fear of risk worse than death itself.

Excerpt from NAKED

     Being an African, I have never had that feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin, probably because I have never left my own city? but even that cannot justify it, I myself have seen people blame their skin color for their lack of progress.

“I lost my job cause the other candidate was fairer and finer”

“It was based on favoritism”

“Everyone wants a fair skinned girl”

     Heck! I came from a Race where people killed their dreams before they even slept! where people drowned before they got to water! I came from a Race who was portrayed as weak because they refuse to let go of a stigma that has clouded their eyes. I came from a society full of strong people with weak minds!

      I came from a society where people would rather Read books than write them! Where people were less concerned about important issues because they believed it did not exist

     Where mental health is not a thing and one is asking for attention if they point it out! where depression is “Old talk” and stereotypes are walking around! Where women are forced to bring out the strong feminism in them because of patriarchy!

      I came from there. But I made sure not to remain there, not in that society, I meant I made sure I did not let that mentality rub off on me! I could be what ever I wanted!

You! You don’t get to choose what race or society you are put in! but You get to choose what you make of those remains or pieces.

        You get to choose how you react to those situations or those thoughts. You get to choose whether you wait for the light to go green? or you get out of that car and run, and if hurdles slwo you down walk and if your legs weaken, crawl and when you can no longer crawl, move. Don’t just change the world! Be the change!

Be the start of that Era our silence screams for! You are Unique, Strong, Bold,Vibrant, creative, Productive, Beautiful and BLACK

Give yourself credit!

I wrote a poem concerning this, titled NAKED here’s the link!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CL5MWiWldN1/?igshid=1whu2zrfvdujz

SELF-CARE (putting yourself first)

How many times have you told someone “No”, plainly, without strings attached or without trying to sugar coat it? How many times have you confronted someone for telling you lies or stabbing you at the back? How many times have you stood up for yourself and put someone in their places?

If never. Then let me Introduce you to Self-care

Self care in my own words is knowing when to say “No”, to let go, and walk away from anything and anyone that is playing with your peace of mind.

Honestly, it’s a lot easier than done. but it’s way better than carrying that load on your shoulders that screams what if? Or maybe? What if I had spoken up? What if I had confronted them? What if I had said no?

I know many believe that silence is the best answer for a fool, but in most cases silence makes you the fool.

You need to stop.

Stop doing things just because and start doing things because you want to. Stop pleasing people just so they can accept you, honestly, if they don’t appreciate you at your worst they don’t deserve you at your best.

Stop displeasing yourself to please people who treat you like an option instead of a priority, stop going miles for people who wouldn’t take steps for you. Stop making sacrifices for people who cannot value it

Stop giving your all to takers and not receivers. Stop wasting your energy on people who could care less about you, forget the vibes, forget the connection, if they can’t treat you like a priority leave them like an option.

Sometimes letting go is better than hanging on, Not every princess is your Cinderella and not every prince is your knight in shining armor, You are NOT overreacting, you are NOT being selfish, you are putting yourself first, it’s not called selfishness or greediness, it’s called SELF-CARE.

Sometimes you need to realise, that you are the one disrespecting yourself, stop throwing yourself at people who won’t catch you, don’t fall for people who won’t help you up. Stop asking for attention from someone who refuses to acknowledge you! The right person is one step away from you, and YOU are the barricade because you REFUSE to let go!

I remember when I felt like I couldn’t live without people, now, I don’t even want people around me, I decided to stop knocking on their doors and guess what? They tried peeping into mine!

When you stay away from certain people, who felt you couldn’t live without them, It makes them realise the fact that they are indispensable, but when you continue calling, texting, sending SMS’ and all that, they’ll use you as cruise.

Make that decision now, to let go of all that weight, and embrace peace…

THAT PERSON IN THE MIRROR

Please stop adding pressure,
You are breaking their backs
Stop asking for more and more
They are doing fine just the way they are
Don’t make perfection a toxic goal
Remember you are human after all
Life is one step at a time
Rome wasn’t built in one day.

Stop criticising them with your thoughts
Stop forcing them into a self conscious cage
It’s okay to have flaws and insecurities
But don’t forget it takes a lot of energy and hardwork to be them

They are a masterpiece,
A beautiful canvas
And priceless sculpture
Carved with the finest of braze
painted with the prettiest colours
And adorned with priceless pieces

So if anyone who makes them feel less
Just know, it takes a lot of energy patience and motivation to stay in a world like ours❤

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http://theafricangirl16.blogspot.com

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BLANK

Life is like a blank sheet of paper
Our memories and struggles
An ongoing story
Let each letter be worth it
Relish in every word
And respect every sentence

Fill each blank page with a piece of you
Never look back
Stray from society’s false hue.

You aren’t doing too much and you aren’t doing too little
You are doing just fine
At your own steady space

Write your own script
With your own font
And design
Lets your words reverberate with in your readers
For you are one in a million
A rare gem
And a collective kind.
—oyindasola

“ PLEASE DON’T”

Darling please don’t do it.
Don’t beat yourself up
Or spill your precious blood
Don’t waste your life mopping around
And sulking over people that are not worth it
Don’t want your time hanging on to a past
That can bore holes into your future.

Live in your present and enjoy it
Savour the taste of every delicacy of life
And remember it
Never forget the ingredients to the bitter dishes
Or what over seasoning can cause
Continue to live your life to the fullest
Write your name in gold
Your gift should never be sold.

Darling, there are over 7 billion to meet
Over 7 billion stories to hear
Over 7 billion scars to heal
There are over 150 countries to visit
Over 150 fresh soils you haven’t stepped on
Over 200 states you’ve never been to
And cultures you’ve never learnt

Life has so much to offer
There is so much to fight for
But it pains me
That only so little are fighting
But your addition can make that significant difference!

Please do not cut your life short.
Not for that person who never valued you
Never for those cowards who treated you less
Definitely not for society
Who never understood you.

They are not worth your life
It is precious
Do not cut it off
Do not deprive this world
Of meeting a masterpiece like you❤.

Note: i just created a group to support mental health.

If You are interested please contact me.

Lets save lives❤

Whatsapp: 07089249660

IG: theafricangirl16

Fb: Oyindasola writes

The groups name is MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT SYSTEM

Any effort you put in can save a life❤

LET GO!

Let go!
Don’t hang on the wrong sentiments
Don’t cry over the wrong memories
Don’t suffer for fake people
Don’t get miserable over unfulfilled promises

Let go!
Don’t feed wrong criticism
Let go of toxic reasonings
You are worth more than these
People will ever know
You’re idea of life
Is too surreal for their false lives
Know that you are special
Awesome, wonderful and unique

Your too rare, real and priceless
To hold on to meager things
That were never yours.
-oyindasola

All rights reserved.
©oyindasola

7 DAYS,7 REALISATIONS,7. LESSONS

I remember when Fantasy introduced reality to me.

On the first day, my sense of reasoning got disoriented.

On the second day, I realised the strongest friendships —could sink

On the third day, I realised this world — was toxic.

On the fourth day, it dawned on me — society would always be biased.

On the fifth day, it hit me — we fight our toughest battles alone.

On the sixth day,—depression hit.

On the seventh day — Suicide no longer seemed scary.

But after those seven days;

I Learnt — I could live without fake People.

I learnt no matter the blow or hit, I could bounce back—stronger, healthier and happier.


I Learnt — I could be the breathe of fresh air in this toxic world — the change it is in dire need of.


I learnt— society had no right to define me

I accepted people were entitled to their opinions — but that didn’t make them Right


I realised, I found peace in being an island, than a toxic city.

And lastly I realised
I was, is and would always be able to embrace change, while maintaining my nature

Http://www.instagram.com/theafricangirl16

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TELL THEM

Tell them,

Tell them i wore fake smiles to hide my real pain

Tell them,

Tell them perfection was a goal, i could never achieve

Listen please
Don’t skip.

This might be a dying wish
Oh would you please.

Tell mama, her words stabbed like a dagger though she thought it was harmless

Tell my sister, i wasn’t strong enough, life was just too tough

Tell Papa, i consumed all the missing tablets he never found over the years .

Tell my brother i hoped we would have been closer, but life cut me short.And to me.
I am sorry, i am sorry for being incompetent and wrong, i am sorry for being me.

Tell them cuts litter my skin
Oh if you would dare to see

tell them i tried i really did.
But the going got hard, and i wasn’t that tough.

Tell them i was never the perfect daughter they wanted. Tell them.

Pleasee…

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Chronicles of a broken mind.

Beating depression

“She wore the biggest smiles,to hide her deepest scars”

Tears rolled down my eyes, as I slid down the wall, thoughts echo through my frail mind.

“do I deserve this?”

“Why did it have to be me?”

“why can’t I do things right?”

More tears fell, I felt incompetent and useless, Maybe I did deserve this. Maybe…just maybe

I took my blade, which had been safely tucked into my Jean pocket, I rolled on my white sleeve, and made a deep long cut.

Seeing blood had never been so appealing so relaxing, maybe it was the fact, that losing it — Would finally rid me of the pain of this world.

A tear slipped my eyes.

For people who don’t know, or who haven’t guessed, I suffer from severe depression. In my world, being depressed is seen as you looking for attention or watching too many movies.

In my world, it’s easier for parents to notice your shortcomings and mistakes, than your dire need to leave this world.

In my world, you being odd equals you being an outcast, you being a square equals you being the wrong one, in my world, distinction and uniqueness happen to be a flaw.

In my world, when you say you are depressed people reply to you with. “others have it worse”

How was that supposed to help me?

That’s why I’m here,
I’m fed up, with constantly explaining myself, to people who humor rumors,
I am fed up, with constantly running miles for people who would never take steps for me
I am fed up, with pleasing people, who never appreciate me.

I am fed up with being misunderstood, shadowed, and continually criticized.

I made the second cut, and entered the bathtub, with my hand on each side, my mind got swallowed in my heap of thoughts.

Blood dropped, they say when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes, but I didn’t see a thing maybe, because I spent my life trying to please the wrong people, I wasted my time trying to fit the wrong group, I killed my innocence while trying to save the wrong souls.

But deep down, deep down, I wanted someone to burst through that door, to tell me I was good enough, to tell me that I did not deserve the life I lived, to tell me it was okay to be a square amid circles, to remind me that life would never be the same without me.

But no. No one came

Slowly but surely, it dawned on me, I would die here, the same way I lived, in the company of the thoughts that haunted me. I closed my eyes, fear, and pain on every side

“Mom!” I heard a voice yell. For some reason, I couldn’t feel pain.

I looked at it was my sister, she was distraught, and she held my- my body?

Oh yes, I was dead.

She cried and wailed, she begged for me to wake up, she told me she loved me, she told me not to leave her.

The irony, while I was alive, I wanted to hear these things, to feel loved., and now when I’m dead, they sing odes?

My parents ran in, they cried and wailed…

If only I knew, if only.

But I couldn’t read their minds.

Just like they could never mine

So, please.
Tell mother, I love her, tell that I’m sorry wasn’t strong enough
Tell my sister I tried my best I tried to fit in, but I guess that just wasn’t me
Tell my father I admire him, but I’m not his strong princess, tell him I’m sorry.

For I let depression beat me at my own game.
END

Now, listen carefully

3 in 5 children or teenagers suffer from depression, 50 percent from abuse, 25 percent bullying and 25 percent from inferiority complexes.

Watch what you say to whom ever you see.

Your one word enough to kill someone.

Never tell a depressed person ” others have it worse”

It cause self hate. It doesn’t solve a thing

Never tell a depressed person

move on”

Those two words are harder than finding a needle in a hay bag..

And to any depressed person out there.

Your life is too precious, for you to sell it to depression

Your future is too bright, for you to turn it off on impulse.

If you feel no one loves you I DO.

I LOVE YOU
I CARE.
My dm will always be open.

Your skin is not paper, darling please don’t cut it.

Depression’s only strength is our ignorance.

Share this.

Love and awareness is it’s weakness.

Save someone’s life today, my contact is below is you need anything❤

Http://www.instagram.com/theafricangirl16

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Depression:The Silent Killer

Ever felt restless, and disoriented? Even felt confused or absent minded? a pinch of sadness with a drop of inferiority- that’s depression

It’s practically a disorder that feeds on your thoughts and swallows your self esteem and pride whole, it drains you till you’re nothing but ashes or a mere name on a grave stone.

Sadly we allow it, we allow this disease, disorder,monster menace, to control, to dictate us, we start over thinking, creating problems that aren’t there, deducing information that doesn’t exist, we slowly lose our self confidence and dignity, we lose ourselves.

But, that monster, that menace doesn’t stop there, it feeds on our insecurities fueling negativity and pessimism, it makes us look down on ourselves, blurring the line between black and white. our reality disappears, us fading into an illusional world whose only objective -is our destruction

At first it seems like nothing we cry a little more, become more sensitive, we pay attention to what people say a lot, then we become more self conscious, no longer contented with this version of ourselves,there’s That spark that ignites, us wanting to fit in more,continuously pointing out our flaws,slowly we lose interest in life, that’s what depression does -it clouds our judgement.

Not everyone understands that, understands the victims of depression, they travel to their own judgmental world, not contented with the one they have here, late nights,spent trying to figure out a puzzle that doesn’t exist, they only realise they’ve lost themselves when it’s too late..

When nothing can be salvaged, when they’re too lost in the abyss, to engaged in condemning themselves, to concerned with what the world has to say, that’s when they start to think, they’re worthless a waste of space retarded and incompetent.

Sixty percent of individuals that suffer from depression are victims of abuse and majorly suffer from PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) some become violent schizophrenics- people who hallucinate,loosing touch from reality and engage in isolation.

The remaining forty percent of individuals are social outcasts or people who suffer from anxiety. The saddest part is that every 3 in 5 teenagers suffer from depression, either due to bullying abuse or even cyber bullying, though I would rather not go further into the topic of bullying for now.

These people,these teenagers, they want help, they need help, they just don’t have the courage to speak up, for fear that people won’t understand, they don’t have the strength to move on, because they believe there’s no reason to,they are wrong, dead wrong.

Let’s be the voice of the voiceless, let’s be the call to reality they’ve been waiting for, the contrast That eliminates the blur, the realisation has to dawn on them, we can’t let them wither like flowers,we Need to water give them, the one thing they lack ‘hope’.

To anyone out there, who needs to hear this, I don’t know what you are going through or have gone through, I don’t know the source of your pain, I don’t know the thoughts plaguing your mind, I don’t know how many memories have scarred you, but I know one thing, you are valued,you are important, you are beautiful, unique,talented,and if the world gives you ten thousand reasons to give up, find that one reason, it’s there,grasp it, hold on to life, because if you let go, you can never come back you’ll end up as a name on a gravestone with a ‘gone too soon’ engraved on it, don’t cross that line, you’ll regret it, no matter how sad you are, no matter what you’ve been through I don’t know, I can’t understand your pain, because I haven’t seen life through your eyes, but you need to hear this, keep living, keep fighting, you’ll look back on the memories one day and smile, because you are a warrior that can fight through this, there’s no battle you can’t win, even if it’s against your mind,

Listen, life’s too beautiful to hang on to ugly memories, don’t take your past with you, don’t let your memories control you, you’re better than that, ‘too those people that called you Fat and ugly, ignore them, don’t let them fuel their low self esteem with your tears. To those who laughed or pointed fingers, smile at them, because no matter what they do or say, no matter how hard they try, they cannot break you, that something you do yourself, you are special, yes you have your have your flaws, but if you look beyond that image you have grown to hate, that version of yourself you detest,that person you constantly condemned, you’ll see a priceless person, one that’s unique talented and special one that is begging for a chance, just one chance to fight to survive to get through this, you’ll see a priceless person with unique talents you’ll see YOU! ❤

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